03 April 2009

Please get liars, heresy, and whining out of my head

I distinctly remember the exact moment that I found out that "Big Girls Don't Cry" was sung by Fergie. I was sitting in the Highlander in the left turn lane at a red light on the corner of Union and Elm streets in Manchester, New Hampshire around noon two summers ago. I was on my way to a pastoral visit during my internship and had sort of, maybe, possibly found some autobiographical content in the song so I thought maybe it was okay.

If it weren't for the whining.

And the terrible lyrics.

"I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket"????

Come on.

Alas, I appreciated the applicability and gave it a chance.

And then I heard the radio announcement..."That was 'Big Girls Don't Cry' by Fergie...next up in the hour is the new hit from....." It was over. I hate that song.

I sometimes marvel at how I could have memorized the entire Bible, Apocrypha, both volumes of the Old Testament Pseudepigrapha and Josephus' "Jewish War" if only I hadn't gotten songs like these stuck in my head for eternity.

It Wasn't Me by Shaggy

1. He's a jerk. 2. He's a liar. 3. He's just plain stupid to use the "it wasn't me!" alibi....two year olds get away with that. Adults don't.

I Am a Friend of God by Israel Houghton

Can we be just a little bit more prideful? No, I didn't think it was possible either.

Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie

If big girls don't cry, why do you sing like you're whining?

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