05 February 2009


I think Dante was onto something.  While traditional depictions of Hell feature a be-horned Devil whipping and otherwise smiting his damned subjects in an indefatigable furnace, Dante Aligheri's version in The Inferno depicts the Prince of Darkness (like, Satan, not Ozzy Osborn) eternally trapped in a lake, his massive wings circulating such cold air that the water freezes around him.  Naturally, Lucifer needs something to keep him warm, so he eternally snacks on the three most famous betrayers in history:  Brutus ("et tu, Brute?"), Cassius, and Judas "You Betray Me With a Kiss" Iscariot.  It's grotesque.  It's horrific.  It's........incredibly similar to the North Park campus at present.  

Seriously.  If Chicago winter were a person, it would not be someone to be trifled with.  I'm sick of sub-zero windchills.  I'm sick of having to suit up in about 9387958235 layers to stay warm in the seven minutes it takes to get across campus.  I'm sick of the goo in my eyes freezing when the wind blows (which is ALL. THE. TIME.)  

Yes, the hockey game that some freshmen started on the North Branch earlier today was cute.  And the snow was pretty for about a month before it got dirty and frozen solid.  But when one goes to church and, while the entire congregation is kneeling in prayer, an ice field slides off the roof and onto nearby parked cars causing one to wonder if God really did hear that prayer we just recited about sending Jesus back now and it is therefore the apocalypse, things are officially absurd.

Luckily, the wonder that is the Alethea-Kasey-Becky-Rachel apartment has a solution for situations such as these:  Farch.  It's a new season to fill the time between Winter and Spring, occuring in those pesky months of February and March when everything is frozen (our hope included).  Celebrations planned for this year include, but are not limited to, a Bob Marley beach party with fruit slushies and Cool Runnings and a Dress Up As Your Favorite Disney Princess movie-viewing bash.  I'm pretty sure Farch is somewhere about the fourth level of Limbo.  It's better than the seventh circle of Hell.

1 comment:

alethea said...

Yea! I'm famous!
and - yes Dante would have a hay day describing Chicago winters.